I have started praying again. Not that I was totally void of it before, but I would easily get distracted, and easily look to myself for the answers. News Flash: I don't have the answers! Neither do you. We were created to be totally, exclusively, perfectly dependent upon our Creator and He loves the chance to get involved in our messy lives.
So, as any self-centered person would do, I started praying for the things that directly affect each and every day. I started praying for Ruthie. She is a precious little girl who is every bit of two years old, and most days she dominates the environment. I can't find enough things for her to do! She follows me around constantly, usually whining, screaming, or crying. If you haven't experienced that, it can get quite old, and it is hard to do anything besides pacify her. Very annoying. Anyway, back to the point. I started praying for her. I prayed for the other girls too, but it seems that she is at a stage where she just needs a little extra prayer. So within a day, I noticed a difference. I prayed for specific things. One of the worst things (among many) is that she is very attached to Russ right now and only wants him to do things for her, like getting her out of her crib when she wakes up from her nap. Since he works, this is my job, but she would have none of it. Every day, she would throw a fit for about forty five minutes if I was the one to get her up. So, I asked the Lord to help specifically with the nap time! The next day, instead of crying from her room when she woke up, she said, "Daddy, I'm up!" When I went in to get her, she just wanted to be hugged and loved on by me - not another mention of Daddy. The other girls were still asleep and we just hung out on the couch for a while, laughing and having fun. She looked around the room and said she wanted to clean up (umm... this has never happened) and proceeded to pick up every toy that was lying around and put them back in their basket. Seems like a small prayer, doesn't it? Seems like an insignificant little thing to somebody on the outside, but I knew that my Creator heard my cry. After months of a daily tantrum that strained my relationship with her and stole my energy for the day, it changed overnight! More importantly, I knew I was a child of God. I knew my voice mattered to Him. I knew he longed to come down to help me, even with the smallest things.
He also answers large prayers. He is big enough to do so. On Monday, we found out that Nana is cancer free! The prayer that we have been praying for months was heard! Not to say that it always plays out as we want it to, but in this case it did! We are overjoyed. He is a Healing God! He heard our little cries for help! He heard our very large requests! Honestly, they were only large to us. He easily holds the world in His hands!
So, I start a new journey this year of seeking God again. He knows that we are easily distracted, easily deceived, and very selfish. We like to pat ourselves on the back when we succeed rather than remembering He graces us with even the breath in our lungs. I want to remember that. I want to remember to thank Him for that and much more this year.